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November 2024

“Situations can change; people can change. Be the first to seek to bring good. Do not grow accustomed to evil but defeat it with good.” ― Pope Francis,

Dear Friends,

Thank you for your continued support of Truck of Love and Her Place. It’s been busy at the house. Currently we have six women in residence. When we met and interviewed each woman, we saw the good and we saw the potential. Each day we attempt to assist the women in finding the good within and around themselves.

Having come from difficult circumstances, it takes time for them to see their God-given gifts. One of our mantras is “one day at a time”.

We emphasize our values of dignity, respect, community, trustworthiness, compassion, and nonjudgemental.  These are difficult to live when a woman has been surviving by her own strength and street smarts. As each woman struggles to understand, we try to support and encourage her.

In the time we have been open we have had several women leave. It is hard work to change habits that have helped them withstand the traumas and abuse they have endured. Our other mantras are “life is a journey” and “In God’s time”.

Our days are full of appointments, volunteer work, classes, chores, and cooking. When a woman comes to us, we set her up with a primary care physician, dentist, eye doctor, a mental health therapist, and in a few cases a hearing specialist. There are always health problems because of a history focused on survival. It is thrilling when a joyful woman returns from the dentist after having her teeth cleaned for the first time in many years. The excitement of being able to see with new glasses or hear with new hearing aids is palpable. But most rewarding is when a woman realizes she needs and wants to find a way to curb her anger, and she willingly goes to therapy.

We meet with the women in the morning and evening for meditation which consists of a reading and individual reflection shared with the group. Sitting in that circle and listening to the women’s insights is good for all of us as we learn from each other.
We had this dream. We wanted to create a home for women who were homeless. We wanted it to be a place where a woman could live in peace and safety as she worked to rebuild her life. We wanted to create a community of women who help each other. We’re working on it. Living in a community of traumatized women is a challenge. Each person has their individual idiosyncrasies. Sometimes they innocently invade another’s space because they are used to doing things their own way. We talk through the difficulties. We adjust. If a woman cannot adjust, she may prefer to leave. That happened recently when one of the women chose to go her own way.

It is hard to see a woman leave. We wonder if we could have done things differently. But we know that it is each woman’s decision to stay with us. They come to us because they want to be here. They depart because at this time in their life they cannot do this. It is their choice.

A couple of months ago we had our first graduate. A woman who had been with us since day one now has her own apartment. With the help of many volunteers who procured furniture and household items we moved her from Her Place to a one-bedroom apartment in a quiet area near here. She is so happy. She had been on the streets and living in various shelters for over three years. Today she can sit in her chair in her own space, watch her tv, and cook in her own kitchen. We are delighted for her.

Then a few weeks ago a former resident called. She had also come to us on our first day. She is a high-spirited woman who brought a lot of insights and energy to all of us. But she couldn’t cope with her addictions and so she walked out after three weeks. During that time, we did many conflict resolution sessions between her and other residents. She was an active participant in all our sessions whether it was yoga, crafts, or the 11 Step (our version of AA’s 12 Steps). She was like a sponge absorbing lessons and at the same time lamenting that she could not do this. When she called, she said, “Miss Sue, I’m clean and sober. My husband almost killed me and he’s in jail. I have a job. I’m going to church. I have an apartment. And I’m using what I learned at Her Place every day.”

She came one Sunday and had dinner with us and shared her story and tried to encourage the women to keep trying. She is working on not getting sucked back into the disfunction of her family. She knows what she needs to do to make her life better. She also wants to become a volunteer with Her Place.

Keep praying for the women of Her Place as we pray in thanksgiving for each of you.

God bless you,

 

 

 

 

March 2024

“…trust in the Lord, which frees our hearts, makes us active and creative in goodness. Trust frees, fear paralyzes. Fear blocks, trust unblocks our abilities.”  Pope Francis

Dear Friends,

There is no way “thank you” can express our gratitude for all you have helped us accomplish. During our morning meditation and before meal prayers, the women of Her Place pray in thanksgiving for many things, but always for you who have made Her Place possible. They are keenly aware that it is because of the generosity of hundreds of people who have donated time, talent, prayers, and money that we enjoy the home that is Her Place. 

We have just welcomed four new women which brings us to six residents. A few days ago, one of the new residents chose a reading about trust vs. fear. The discussion revealed how difficult it is to trust. They recognized that trust drives out fear. 

Each of them has come to us with a variety of fears. Now that they have been with us a few weeks it is gratifying to hear how they are beginning to trust God, themselves, and each other. I’m sure the example of the veteran resident’s trust in the process of the Her Place community has paved the way for their progress.

Our days are full. Morning chores and appointments with doctors, dentists, and therapists. The first phase of the program is about establishing the base for improving physical, emotional, and spiritual health. 

The second phase involves job readiness. Our two veteran residents have just completed interviews with South Carolina Works for part time jobs that will enable them to re-enter the workforce, earn money, begin a savings plan, and prepare for their futures.

We are completing applications for income-based housing through local organizations including Catawba Mental Health. The waiting lists for these programs can be eighteen months to two years which will be perfect timing as the women continue to work on themselves in what we call the Nine Dimensions of Wellness: Financial, Intellectual, Physical, Emotional, Occupational, Cultural, Social, Spiritual, and Environmental. All our classes and experiences reflect one of these dimensions. The women are seeing how each of these dimensions relates to the others, thus helping them become the woman they are meant to be.

As we have gone through these first months, we are seeing that each resident has complex issues. We have three volunteer caseworkers who meet with each woman to create short and long-term goals. The caseworkers also help them navigate the legal issues, court dates, oncologist appointments, specialists, therapists, and any number of other small things. We help them get eyeglasses, ID’s, Social Security cards, and SNAP benefits (food stamps). 

Each woman receiving SNAP benefits uses some of her allowance to purchase and prepare one meal each week for all the residents. We have several eager cooks, and our meals are excellent. 

We are now evaluating our first seven months and looking at what has been good and how we can improve. We are looking through the lens of our values of: Dignity, Respect, Community, Compassion, Trustworthy, and Non-judgmental.  The residents have been asked for their input as have the volunteers. Our hope is to better meet the needs of the residents. 

We are seeing our dream come true. We talked for a long time about creating a place where women would have time to begin to heal, to care for their health and wellbeing in a place of safety, and to become a community of women helping each other. Recently we celebrated the birthday of a new resident around our firepit and saw that community working to create a fire that this woman desperately wanted to experience. The soothing flames were a balm that lifted fear for a moment.

Each day we renew our trust in God and each other as fear and anxiety take a back seat. This dream of a long-term transitional home is real. It is working. Time, safety, care, and support bring healing and hope.

God bless you,

Sue and the Her Place Team 

 

 

 

September 2023

"It is impossible for peace to exist without dialogue. All the wars, all the strife, all the unsolved problems over which we clash are due to a lack of dialogue. When there is a problem, talk: this makes peace." Pope Francis

Dear Friends,

We’ve been talking a lot lately.

Today is day 30 of Her Place being open. We accepted six women to be in our first group. On opening day, July 10, we had several volunteers going around town picking up the women from shelters and other places. The excitement was electric.

To be a resident at Her Place a woman must be homeless. All the women we interviewed have experienced a variety of traumas that would destroy most people. These women are resilient. They have slept on the streets, in shelters, and on friend’s couches. They have not known when or where their next meal will be. They have struggled to survive. They have unaddressed health problems, they need dental and eye care, and many have mental health diagnoses. They have been neglected and abused. Coming to Her Place where we have a set of rules can be daunting.

Of the six women we chose, five showed up. One of the five left at 10:30 the first night. The other four were excited to be with us. They knew for the first 90 days they would be with us full-time, no work. We want to give them time to begin to heal, begin to trust, and understand they are in a safe place.  We have been to doctors, filled prescriptions, gotten hair done, and set up eye doctor appointments. We have had classes in conflict resolution, communication, accountability, etiquette (how to set a table and how to use a napkin), yoga, diet, and exercise.  Lots more opportunities to come. We have Friday night movie night. And the Uno games and other group building activities are uproarious.

The residents are proud of the house and are keeping it clean like new. They love to cook. We cook and eat together. Our vegetable garden produces loads of cucumbers and squash, and the tomato worms love our tomato plants. The residents mow the backyard lawns, water the plants, and pull the weeds. We have very generous volunteers who care for the front yard.

We’ve had our ups and downs, but the women have been doing their best. Last week one of the four left and so we now have three. We have interviewed several women and we have two new residents joining us this Saturday. It’s going to be a roller coaster ride for a while. It is easy to say, “I am tired of my life”. It is very hard to put in the work to change one’s life.

We meet each morning for meditation. We light a candle for the women who have left us, who are still on the street, and those who are coming to us. We want to be a welcoming community of women who are helping each other.

The women are aware of the hundreds of people who have contributed money, time, sweat, and prayers to the success of Her Place.  They are grateful for your support.

A friend and I have been living at the house for the past thirty days. Volunteer house assistants come in regularly to do projects and be present. Our hope is that soon the volunteers will be comfortable enough with the house and the residents that we can rotate going home.  It is important to us that we create a peaceful, accepting environment for each woman.

Volunteers join us for meals. The first time a volunteer was present at lunch we had great discussions and when it was over one of the residents came to me and said,” I’ve never sat at a meal and had a nice conversation like that. It made me feel really special.”

We have had many special times with the women. We listen to heartbreaking stories that are hard to tell. We reflect on our lives that are now intertwined. We encourage, argue, resolve conflicts, and hopefully learn new healthy habits. It is hard. It is wonderful. We will keep talking. Please continue to pray for us.

God bless you all,

As summer ends, Truck of Love is looking to complete two more big projects: one that will help us create work for the women on our campus and one for recreation and reflection. We are grateful for your help getting us this far.

 

March 2023

Dear Friends,

Thank you for your donations, prayers, and encouragement. Each time I send out this newsletter I receive such kind notes. You bring light into my days.

Her Place transitional home for women is almost ready to open. On February 27 the Boards of Directors of both Her Place and Truck of Love gathered with some 100 friends in the finished residence. Father Tony Mancuso came from California to bless the home and Mayor John Gettys of Rock Hill helped Regeana Phillips and I cut the ribbon. What a great day – three years in the making.

When Pete and I started this project with Regeana and many others, we naively thought we would rent a house and open a shelter. When no appropriate rentals were available, we were shown the property that is now Her Place. It is perfect. With one main house where the women will reside, a cottage for the office and meeting space, a separate cottage to bring in work that the women will do to earn an income on campus, and a wonderful yard where we can grow vegetables and flowers and relax in the shade; we could not have dreamed of a better environment where women will have time to heal from their traumas and find a place of peace and safety.

The main house and office are done. We must still landscape the yard, install fencing, create a patio, and move in furnishings before we are ready to open our doors. This will take several more weeks. Truck of Love still needs your help to finish; we are close, but not quite there.  As with all construction projects we had no idea what we would uncover. Every time we turned around there was more termite damage, one more pipe to be changed, a roof to replace, another visit by an engineer, a railing to build, or drainage to form and new concrete to pour. All of that costs money. We have a new home that will last through generations of women.

These three years have enabled us to create the program structure for what will be a long-term transitional home for women. The program will enable a woman to enter Her Place and stay up to two years or more as long as she is progressing with her goals. We will have classes and opportunities that will help each woman discover who she is as a child of God and how to function in this society. There will be time for her to relax, feel safe, build trust, and become the woman God intended her to be.

Yesterday I had conversations with two women who are experiencing great darkness in their lives. One is living between her car and a local emergency shelter. She starts a job on Monday at 4am and was asking me where she can park her car that is safe and where she can get cleaned up at 3am before she heads to work. The other is living between motel rooms and the emergency shelter. She is struggling with an addiction to alcohol and does “whatever I have to do” to get a motel room for the night.

As I described the idea of Her Place – creating a community of women who will help each other – a new light emerged and overtook their countenances. Her Place where a woman can stay 24 hours a day seven days a week. Where we will have meditation, yoga, art, cooking, and gardening opportunities. Where a woman can learn conflict resolution, anger management, budgeting, parenting, or get her GED. Where we will help a woman fix her teeth, get her health checks and medications, and support her if she is attending AA or NA meetings. Where there will be other women who understand the journey of homelessness, addiction, abuse, and incarceration and will walk with each other toward wholeness.

Listening intently, these women started to ask questions: Will the women have to leave during the day? Answer: This is home. If a woman has an appointment, job, or an off-campus meeting, they will leave the campus. But if a woman is doing her chores, studying for a class, or engaging in some on campus activity then she can stay all day at Her Place. Women will be expected to prepare and eat meals together as a family. There will be a chore list. Yes, there is a time to get up and a time for lights out. There will be house meetings, weekly check ins with staff, game nights, movie nights, and special outings as a family. 

One woman asked if there will be doors on the bedrooms. She was concerned because she had been in a shelter where there was a man on staff and no place for privacy. Answer: There will be no men allowed in the residence, unless he is accompanied by staff, and he is either helping with a class or doing maintenance.  There are doors on the bedrooms.

We intend to begin with six residents so we can work out the “bugs” in the day-to-day operations. We are not into numbers, so in a few months if that number is still six women who are working toward their goals that will be ok. We will grow slowly. The house can accommodate a maximum 15 residents. Our intention is that the women will graduate with the ability to support themselves, have a stable place to live, and a means of transportation. We also hope the graduates of our program will come back to share their stories with future residents.

Thank you for sharing your light so Her Place can be a place of light for women.

God bless you,

 

 

July 2022

On March 25 and 26 our family and friends gathered here in Rock Hill, South Carolina to celebrate Pete’s life. We were humbled by the number of people who flew in from California, Arizona, Massachusetts, Colorado, Oregon, Illinois, Washington, New Mexico, and other places. Many friends drove hours to get here. We had a glorious celebration of Pete’s life. We were able to stream the services on our parish’s Facebook page: St. Mary Catholic Church, Rock Hill. If you didn’t get a chance to view the services, they are still available on the Facebook page – just scroll down to the dates. You can also view highlights on the Truck of Love webpage: truckoflove.org. Pete has gone to his reward, but Truck of Love and his dream of Her Place are a huge part of his legacy.
We thank each of you for your support during these past months. Your prayers, cards, calls, and presence have enriched all our lives.

 

More Information and Updates on Her Place 

If you want to be on our vulunteer list, just email or give us a call: fullertonsusan@gmail.com 803-207-4078